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.It can be a useful signal that you shouldexplain what you are saying in a different way.I could not explain all that should be considered when you spotan anger expression.My examples are only meant to suggest thatthere are many possibilities, and some responses you might consider.Which are applicable will depend on who you and the other personare, and the specifics of the situation.Admittedly, much of what Ihave suggested about how to respond when we note another person'sanger is not established firmly by research.I have contradicted ideasprevalent some years ago that we should learn how to fight fairly, butnot avoid the fight.My own experience suggests that this is morethan can be expected from most people, and isn't necessarily the bestor most certain way to deal with whatever is generating the anger.The grievances must be considered, but not, I suggest, in the heat ofanger.7 Surpriseand FearSurprise is the briefest of all the emo-tions, lasting only a few seconds at most.In a moment surprisepasses as we figure out what is happening, and then surprise mergesinto fear, amusement, relief, anger, disgust, and so forth, dependingupon what it was that surprised us, or it may be followed by no emo-tion at all if we determine that the surprising event was of no conse-quence.It is rare to see a photograph of surprise.Because it isunexpected and the experience is brief, a photographer is rarelyready to shoot and even if he is he may not be fast enough to captureit once something surprising happens.Press photographs usuallyshow reenacted or posed surprise.The New York Post photographer Lou Liotta gave this account ofhow he was able to get this prize-winning photograph of two sur-prised men:"I got a call to go over to this building where a woman was doinga promotional stunt.I got there late, as she was being raised up tothe top of the building, holding on to a cable with her teeth.I put along lens on my camera, and I could see there was a strained look onher face.Her body was spinning around.I saw her lose her grip andfollowed her down—like you do covering a horse race or some otheraction.I took one picture."Fortunately, the woman in this photo survived, though in fallingthirty-five feet onto wooden planks she broke both wrists and anklesand injured her spine.Our interest, however, is in the emotion feltby the two fellows facing the camera.Surprise can only be triggeredby a sudden, unexpected event, as happened here.When an unex-pected event unfolds slowly, we aren't surprised.It must be sudden,and we must be unprepared.The men who saw the stuntwoman fallhad no warning, no idea ahead of time of what was going to happen.Years ago, when I first taught medical students how to understandand recognize the emotions, I would try to arouse a different emo-tion in each class meeting.To surprise them, I once had a bellydancer emerge from behind a screen, stamping her feet and clangingher finger cymbals.She would not have been surprising if she hadcome onstage at a nightclub featuring Turkish dancing, but in amedical school class she was out of context, and her sudden andnoisy appearance triggered surprise.We don't have much time to mobilize our efforts deliberately inorder to manage our behavior when we are surprised.That rarely is aproblem unless we are in a situation in which we shouldn't be sur-prised.For example, if we have claimed to know all about something,and we react with surprise when a feature we should have known aboutis suddenly, unexpectedly revealed, then it might be obvious that wewere claiming more than we actually knew.In a classroom a studentmight claim to have read the optional readings that were assigned,when, in fact, she hasn't.Her surprise when the teacher reveals some-thing quite unexpected in those readings could betray her lie.Some emotion scholars do not consider surprise to be an emotionbecause they say it is neither pleasant nor unpleasant, and they claimthat all emotions must be one or the other.I disagree; I think sur-prise feels like an emotion to most people.In that moment or twobefore we figure out what is occurring, before we switch to anotheremotion or no emotion, surprise itself can feel good or bad.Somepeople never want to be surprised, even if it is by a positive event.They tell people never to surprise them.Others love being sur-prised; they deliberately leave many things unplanned so that theycan often experience the unexpected.They seek experiences in whichit is likely they will be surprised.My own doubt about whether surprise is an emotion arises fromthe fact that its timing is fixed.* Surprise can't last more than a fewseconds at most, which is not so for any of the other emotions.Theycan be very brief, but they can also endure much longer.Fear, whichoften follows surprise, can be extremely brief, but it can also endurefor quite a long time [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]